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' 'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Rupert started using the most ghastly language... Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her back.' *Geordie - is a regional nickname for a person from the Tyneside [NE] region of England, or the name of the dialect of English spoken by these people. You need a television.' What more can Will and Guy say!

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. 'Will those wanting to get married please come to the front? Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.Hilary, a grandmother, overhears her 5-year-old granddaughter, Mo, playing "weddings." As the little girl, Mo, marches the bride down the aisle, the marriage vows went something like this: 'You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present.You may now kiss the bride.' The order of speeches is traditionally as follows: The father of the bride usually talks fondly about his daughter.When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go straight to bed yourself.' 5th year - 'Why don't you take a couple aspirin? Tudor Ciora, 26, from Sibiu, has set up a website for bidders and he hopes that he'll easily pay for the ceremony and some special presents.' 6th year - 'You ought to gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog.' 7th year - 'For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the supermarket.' Footnote: No.10 above, was kindly sent by Solly, a regular reader, who also enjoys our Joke of the Day. Thanks to readers' letters Will and Guy have collated more MC wedding jokes, which are suitable for telling at the stag night, or the reception itself. Companies can pay €20* for a slot near the top of his tie, €15 for one in the middle or just €10 to have their name at the bottom of the tie.

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