Dating a pregnancy after miscarriage
The following is my most recent experience with burying my miscarried child, specific to the state of Arizona, and advice for anyone going through the same thing. Tell every nurse who comes to your bedside for any purpose.
Once you arrive at the hospital for the D&C, tell every single medical professional you encounter at the hospital that you want the baby’s remains returned to you for burial. Read page of paperwork given to you to sign to make sure that you’re not giving them permission to dispose of the baby’s body as medical waste (and if you find paperwork with that clause, cross it out and write in the margin that you want the baby’s remains returned to you for burial – and initial it).
In our shock and grief, my husband and I didn’t think to try and save any discernible remains, and the baby, whom we named Chris, was so tiny at that point that we likely would not have been able to identify his/her body amid the blood and tissue.
With my first, third, and fourth losses, my husband and I chose to bury the baby at our local Catholic cemetery.
Once that was done, the remains were returned to our local hospital, and my husband was notified that he could pick them up.
He did so that day, permit in hand, and delivered them to the funeral home, who had agreed to hold the remains for us until burial.
We had the option to have the remains released with or without preservative.
( I don’t think our funeral home had a preference but that may be something to check on with your funeral home.) We had said that preservative was fine but for some reason the pathology department chose not to use it.
If you are reading this article because you recently lost a baby via miscarriage, there are three things I want you to know: 1. My second loss was very early (5w6d) and happened late at night while I was in the emergency room.
The loss of a child is a nightmare for every parent. If you did not bury your baby, do not not feel ashamed or guilty.
In the first few hours and days of grief and shock, it’s hard to know what to do. We can only do our best in the circumstances we’re in according to the knowledge that we have.
(Incidentally, we met with the funeral home on the morning of my D&C, and they were very helpful regarding arrangements.
The representative we spoke with gave us her cell phone number and told us to have the hospital call her if we had any issues, so if possible, I recommend letting the funeral home run interference if you run into any resistance.) With my most recent loss and D&C (June 2, 2015 – we named the baby Francis), our first step was, prior to the procedure, filling out special paperwork authorizing the hospital to release Francis’ remains.